You're Mean, Master
by duhpls
Summary: What if Ene lives in someone's computer, rather than Shintaro? Has some mild language just to be sure. AU, kinda a one-shot. (Ignore those last words! It's NOT anymore! Will continue if I have the time.)
1. Chapter 1

**First time here! I can't write anything creative, so my apologies of the poorly written story.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own KagePro and Ene, both are from their respective owners. I just write stuff.**

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Here I am absolutely doing nothing but blankly stare at this source of light from the computer monitor, slowly scrolling my mousewheel with the tip of my index finger just to look at paintings and digital art around DeviantArt while searching weird emails just to be sure. Boredom as always, clicking the 'delete' button to remove these spam mails from existence. But in this email, is something suspicious, out of curiosity I moved the cursor with my mouse to open up that is giving me an odd feeling about it. After I clicked, a small blue spark flashed my eyes for a millisecond, popping up a window that brings up a Japanese phrase. Not knowing what it means, I panicked a little, thinking that I did something that'll damage the computer. A bunch of tiny pixels were forming out a figure that looks like a character from an anime. The pixels have done processing the figure and it's eyes are closed, for a while I thought it wasn't functioning till it made a small pop.

"Hi! My name's Ene! How are you doing?" she introduced herself, and gave a smile. She sounded cute though, for some reason...

"Er...hi, the name's Darius, fine, how're you?" I asked.

"Wonderful!" she answered cheerfully, my god she's getting cuter than I thought. "Anyway, I'll be living in your PC from now on, so you better remember that, ok?"

"Alright, wait...what?"

"Duh, I said I'll be living in here."

"Oh... **WHAT**?" I shouted, almost about to slam my hand on the desk.

"Ow! Master~~~ that hurts! You're mean already after my awesome intro?" she grumpily pouted. Her tone when she chanted 'master' is quite...jolly.

"Tch, sorry. Wait, you called me **master** for what?" I questioned her.

"Nothing~~~, you'll figure out for yourself if you wanna know, Master," she joyfully replied. Now she's starting to get a little annoying.

"Whatever. Anyways, make yourself at home, er, Ene."

"Let's be roomies! Hopefully it'll be fun!"

Ever since then, the computer program or whatever that's called, is living together with me but inside the computer as her own home, to be honest, I find her cute and gullible at times, but throughout the months, she's starting to irritate me often. My parents didn't know I had a **talking computer program** and it's pissing me off everytime I turn on the PC whenever I'm bored. She keeps mocking my use of the computer about me listening to podcasts with weird self-deprecating humor, looking at arts and stuff in DeviantArt, messing my game-time and even tried to misplace my words when I chat with my friends on Steam. Seriously, she's one of the worst. Holidays are coming on, and it's getting really boring from the start.

"Hmm...what are you doing at this time of the holidays?" she asked, looking fascinated of what I'm doing.

"Nothing, now stop peskering me," I gloomy replied, while I lay my head on my left hand.

Her reaction from his response were bitter. She then moves around the computer screen taking a peek of what I'm doing, she starts to giggle and it's making me embarrassed of the outcome.

"Master~~~, you're doing something dirty~~~," she grimly smile, that smile is one of the most irritating facial action I've ever witnessed.

"Could you not? Goddamn it," I lead the mouse cursor and tried to click on her, it did nothing but it just make things even awkward.

"Master, are you dumb or something? That does nothing on me."

"At least I tried to do something for you to FUCK off," I aggressively barked at her and groaned.

"Waaaahhh! You're so mean, why are you always like that!" she furiously shakes her body and flies around the screen. Her current state is making me feel really guilty for saying that to a girl, let alone a **computer program**.

"Ok, ok, ok, alright! I'm sorry, I'm just a little down on the weather today, ok? Just don't try to make me feel worst."

"Hmph, should've told me earlier," she then stick her tongue out and calmly flutter around the screen.

I sighed, feeling that the current moment we're having right now is getting us nowhere, so I muttered myself. "Hmm...since my parents aren't here...I suppose I should try to go out for a drink at least."

For a second, she popped and immediately squeeze her face upon the screen, which reminds me, she's also really bored staying in this peripheral for months.

"You're going out? Can I come? Please~~~~," she gleefully asks, full of enjoyment and anticipation for adventure of the outside.

"Oh sure, I could drag that thing all day on my back, **SURE** you can! What could go wrong?" I sarcastically commented.

"Master, when will you learn?" she replied. Then, she disappeared. To my surprise, she's gone, I was in fully joy that the horrible curse was finally gone forever, until my phone starts to beep and vibrate frequently on my bed. I observed the phone and I had my jaw dropped on the floor in distraught, Ene is in the goddamn phone...

"How the hell..." I lament myself as if I discovered something deceitful from a treasure chest. I'm still baffled from her action.

"How about it? I'm in your phone! Isn't it cool?"

I almost felt like I lost hope for myself, how does she do that? I'll never know.

"Yeah, whatever, so, I guess you're with me to get out huh?" I asked, this question is giving her the hype

"Of course you dingus! LET'S GO!" she cried.

"Geez, slow down, it's not like we're on a fantasy quest." In fact, it sounded like a quest, going out to get a drink, how canny.

"Sorry~~~," she giggled, my God, it's annoying yet cute.

And so, I start to change my clothes, getting my keys, and grab the phone that Ene is in. I opened the door, and the sun shines around my eyes, it blinds me for a while till I get used to it.

"Hot damn! Never knew it would be this hot, well to be fair, I do live in a hot neighborhood." I complained.

"Oh don't be such a puss. Let's go!" she cheered.

Thus begins our short yet weird adventure for just buying a drink for the rest of the holidays.

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 **So! What do you think? Leave a review, it really helps. I might continue the adventure, just maybe...**

 **By the way, this is actually a rewrite of the previous one, "You're Mean, Master". I just happen to delete that because I thought it didn't feel good on my taste...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! It's been so long since I had this living among the site. I finally decided to continue this with a few chapters I've been thinking for months, but never decided to do it because I never had any thoughts of continuing it. But here it is! A new chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kagerou Project nor Ene, they both belong to their respective owners, I just write stuff.**

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The slight intense heat of the outside world, I can't believe it's this hot. I need to hurry or else I'll end up as a dried up fish in a market. I pull out my earphones and plug them in the audio jack of my phone.

"So, how are we gonna go there?" she asked as she waves her head around the screen of the phone.

"By using that," I pointed at a bicycle and showed her for proof, "Only best option to go, don't retort anything because there's no other means of transport around here."

"You at least know how to ride that thing?" she asked again, with a worried expression.

"Yes, I'm fine with the basics, no need for fancy speeding." I answered, how dare she ask that kind of question? I perfectly know how to ride a bicycle, that explains why that thing even exists at my house to begin with! After locking up my front door and the main gate, I prepare to cast off to a small grocery store. But before that, I got one tiny problem to start off with.

"Hey! What's the hold up? Our bright adventure awaits us!" she hails.

"Well…should I put my phone in my pocket or what?" I asked such a buffoon question.

"Hmm…I know! What about that other pocket on your shirt?"

Surprising enough there is one, a small pocket right on my left side of the shirt. How convenient, so I put my phone on that said pocket so she can at least see with her head shown above it.

"Alright, let's go…" I said as I begin to pedal the bike.

Throughout the road, to be honest, I felt humble breezing through the wind as I keep pedaling. Who would've thought going outside could be this exciting? Not me of course. Although there are times when she calls out cars heading in front of us, annoying but at least she's trying to help, couldn't argue with that. We've finally arrived at my destination, or ' **our** ' destination of choice. So I placed my bike and locked it on a pole somewhere hoping it won't get stolen, because around here looks crooked as I thought it would be.

"99 Speedmart… so, you're ready Master?" she asked, with her right hand placed on her chin wondering.

"Well, I got my money, so don't worry." I replied, "It won't take long, I hope…"

Soon as I entered the store, I was greeted by a cashier of the place.

" _Selamat datang! Harap kamu enjoy dalam 99 Speedmart!_ " he greets with enthusiasm.

" _Ya, kamu juga..._ " I replied. _'Sounds like a new guy here, as long as I can remember they don't usually greet customers.'_

"You speak with your native language? How nice of you." she compliments.

"Yeah, like I got a choice, prick…" I said, took it as a sarcastic remark.

Soon as we walk around the store for a while we manage to find the fridges containing with wonderful soda cans, oh the joys of fresh carbonated drinks, how could you not disappoint me? I opened one of them and grabbed a soda can which is my absolute favorite. Good ol' Mountain Dew, how you never cease to amaze me with your sweet green liquid. I checked my amount of money to see if it's enough to afford this and began to buy it off the store, as he was scanning the price tag and given money by me, he spoke.

" _Hey, kenapa kau ada handphone kat kocek baju kamu?_ "

" _Eh? Oh, ni tak pe._ "

" _Cis…panas hari ni…kau tak rasa tak? Sekarang tak tahu kenapa ni berlaku walaupun TV kata tak panas pun._ "

" _Ku tahu apa kau rasa bro, jangan risau._ " I replied back. Honestly, I really feel his worries. I don't know how the weather got so unbelievably hot despite the fact that our weather forecast said the temperature would be decent enough. Goes to show how dumb our media can get sometimes, if not everytime. As soon as we got out, I pop open my drink and took a sip, but I noticed she doesn't even talk the whole time we're in the grocery store, so I asked.

"Hey, you crashed or something? Or was my battery out?"

Again, silence.

"Hello?"

But the moment I lift my head to her direction, my face paled. Now I know why she went so silent.

My bicycle got stolen.

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 **Oh boy, our protagonist's bike got stolen. Would he try to find it, and if does, can he be able to retrieve back what was lost from him?**

 **Leave a review! Means a lot to me for improvement.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, I'm finally done with this chapter! What situation would they confront after he lost his bicycle?**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kagerou Project nor Ene, they both belong to their respective owners, I just write stuff.**

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Do my eyes deceive me? My bicycle, my only means of getting home, just disappeared like that?! To make sure I wasn't seeing things differently I tried to take a look around the place if I was looking at the wrong pole, but to no avail there is no proof of my deceits. My bike is literally gone, stolen!

"This can't be happening…" I said as I take a short moment of breathing after running around like a baboon looking for its meal. I take another look of my bicycle's last known location and noticed that the chains were cut off. "How the hell did they manage to cut this down? This is purely steel!" I exclaimed, shocked by faulty security.

"Well, Master, what are you gonna do now? Your bike's gone. You're gonna walk back home aren't you?" she asked, wondering of the current situation.

I respond with a groan, "Perhaps I got no choice…" I drank my soda drink as fast as I can until it's empty, "We gotta find it and get it back, even if it means getting…killed." I gulped when I said that last word, killed?! What was I thinking? Sure I would walk, but it's too damn far to even try. I don't know which has a better outcome, walking under the scorching hellish sun or finding a bicycle which most likely have a guy who's capable of killing someone.

"Then what are you doing standing there? Let's catch that bike!" again she shouts with the thirst for adventure.

"That bike's got no legs!"

"Whatever, let's just GO!" she angrily retort.

So we did, searching for the bike as we walk down the sidewalks. Nowhere to be found, with the sun burning the area I can't seem to go through with this anymore, so I tried to find a shade away from the rays of terror and luckily there's a bus stop directly ahead. I manage to the needed location and sat for a while. Although relaxing, I can't help but be bothered by her rampant shouting on my earphones.

"What are you doing?! You must go on! Your bike is in dire need of saving from the clutches of a crooked thief!"

"Oh will you SHUT up for a little? The place is too hot, I can't go on like this. I'll just take the bus and leave all of this aside, I'm just gonna tell my parents what happened to it. Probably not going to get a new one since I lost it in the most idiotic way possible." I replied with extreme exhaustion. But in a miracle I heard a little pop receiving from my earphones, suggesting Ene must of found something.

"Master! I think that junkyard has got something to do with your bike!" she said with confidence.

"What makes you think so?" I asked in skepticism.

"Right there," she explained.

And goddamn she wasn't wrong; my bike is there at a distance of that said junkyard lying on the vile dirt, how that person dare would treat my bicycle with such disrespect of an amazing invention. Speak of the devil, there's the punk right over the decently sized shack, watching which I presume a smart TV, definitely stolen by him. That's just a guy who owns a junkyard, what about those 2 dogs sitting there! Believe me being chased by dogs are one of the worst things that can happen in your life.

"Oh fuck me…2 dogs, what could possibly get worse than that?" I sighed.

"Your mouth! Master, you still haven't learned from your mistakes?"

"Whatever! That right there is something I SHOULD worry about than just swearing!" I pointed at the direction where 2 dogs are resting about.

"Leave it to me, for I am the pretty awesome cyber girl Ene!" she exclaimed, "First things first, you need to sneak up over there so I can do something at that range," she ordered. Oh now she's being strict with this? This adventure's getting stranger than ever.

So I did, hiding behind the entrance of the junkyard and hoping the dogs won't capture my scent. I wait for her instructions as I observe the area, it's filthy to be frank, obviously going to be junk everywhere meant to be scrapped into useless metal and the horrid stench, I know it's a junkyard but come on put some effort for first impressions will you?

"So, what should I do?" I whispered, waiting for her answers.

"You said he has a smart TV which was stolen right? So if you could point your phone at it, I can definitely transport myself there and pitch up for a deafening effect," she answered, and yet that sounds like a smart move. "Don't worry, I'll tone down for your ears, since you're wearing them," she added.

"Alright, here goes nothing…" I checked if the dogs were noticing my presence and they didn't, so I have the opportunity to point at the TV quickly as I can.

"See ya~" she said as she disappeared with a small blue spark flashed on my phone.

Waiting for the results, the TV went static and the punk panicked. As he tried to pick up the remote, Ene suddenly popped out of nowhere on the screen scaring the guy. The dogs began barking at it because for some reason they react to her sticking out her tongue.

"Hi! My name's Ene! How're you doing?"

" _Eh! Siapa kau! Pasal TV ku macam ni!?_ " he shouted, in complete panic and confusion.

"Nothing going on here~," she giggled, "You know, that's not nice stealing from others you know? Especially from Master~"

" _Master? Ape kau cakap ni?!_ " he asked in anger. But she never answered anything and things got a little interesting.

Not sure if I can hear it, but both the dogs and the junkyard punk felt the intense pain in their ears and starting rolling on the floor with their ears covered. Sounds painful I might add, thank God she actually did mute my ears which I don't even know how she does it, but she's a program so why should I bother with her features? Aside from the plan, I managed to take back my bicycle which was thrown on the very vile dirt. Then I began to run off from the place while I screamed at her.

"ENE! Get outta there!" I didn't hear what she said, but she looked dissatisfied. I guess she was enjoying torturing the guy with the worst high-pitched noise he ever heard in his entire life. We got out before they had a chance to recover and I pedal like there's no tomorrow.

We got home, and I was sweating not because of the heat, it's because the intensity of the situation we're having back then. I never had this adrenaline since ever, as I put down my bike and surprisingly my parents still haven't arrived yet, no sign of any vehicle. I sigh in relief, since they would be worried and complaining by now. But what I hear in my ears was her sounding jolly and flying everywhere around the screen of my phone.

"Oh my God! That was so fun! We should try doing that next time! Get thirsty again will you, please, Master~?" she begged hoping I would feel guilty for her.

"No, EVER will I go out like this!" I denied angrily, but I hear a slight ring coming to my ears and too late, the high-pitched sound she used bursts through my eardrums as I opened my mouth with excruciating pain.

"STOP! PLEASE! NO MORE!" I tried letting those earphones go, but such a waste of money for throwing them away…what a complete idiot I must of thought.

"Hmph, serves you right, dummy," she pouted.

The next day, as usual I'm at my room staring at my computer with the same old routine of her pestering me around all day.

"Ugh, I'm kinda thirsty…" I said as I slightly groan. When she heard those very words, she quickly closed in onto the screen with such brighten eyes, hoping for another daring adventure.

"No way…I'd rather take something from the fridge," I refused her offer and went down the stairs to get some orange juice.

"Waaaahhh! Why you're so mean, Master!" she shouted with anger and disappointment with no luck for an adventure.

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 **What do you think? Leave a review, really helps me for motivation and improvement.**

 **By the way, if I wasn't updating frequently, it's school.**


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